March 8th Hijacked By Patriarchy Shocker

I already had some idea of what it would be like, when I heard the male voice on a loudspeaker telling the town’s women they should all go to the Women’s day event.

When we got there, it was pretty evident the men would be running the show. Although it may have been a publicity stunt from the mayor and her mum, and they did give speeches at the beginning, the rest of the time the men had the floor.

We heard from a few male speakers how much they loved and respected women. Then a cheesy band got people dancing (the singer also let us know how much he was a fan). It was certainly nice to see people released from the normal constraint of only dancing in heterosexual couples. Then the MC announced that although mime acts were traditionally silent, this one wanted to say something. What a surprise. Yes, he likes women too. In fact, he considers us to be the best gift god gave the world. Ahhh.

I found the mime act confusing (in the sense of “Why are so many people laughing quite so much?”) when it wasn’t being offensive. The act “Making bread” involved kneading dough, going to the toilet, there not being any loo roll, using some dough instead, and then, here’s the punchline… carrying on making bread without washing his hands! You didn’t have to be there. The comical highlight of the act, “Woman in a shower” was the washing of imaginary breasts. Gives you insight into why Mr Bean is so popular around the world: the competition transforms him into a comic genius.
The school band consisted of eight boys with lovely shiny brass instruments, and two girls taking turns on a pair of cymbals. That was the low point for me. I preferred it when the girls got to do their dance acts.

The police constable explained that he wasn’t talking to us as a police constable, but as someone who loves, respects and admires woman, and who believes them to be the motivation for everything he does. The redemption was that his speech was the intro to the police’s contribution of a drag act beauty contest. Hooray for a bit of gender bending.

There were a few games (eg the classic who-can-eat-the-dry-bread-fastest) where some woman were at least participants rather than passive observers of the event. But participating only in the sense of being told what to do by men.

Overall, we heard from a variety of men how important us women were for them. How they appreciated all sorts of things about us, from our looks, to, errr, how we look, as well as our lovely sweet nature and our roles as mothers, daughters and friends. It was an event put on by the men of the town to show the women a good time. I guess it was never meant to be about empowerment. Maybe being constantly told you’re appreciated and wonderful was a good thing for people’s self esteem. It seemed clear that out of the 400 women packed into the hall, everyone (except grumpy me finding fault in everything) did have lots and lots of fun.

I went home quite wound up. Tried to relax infront of the tele. A message flashed up, “For your beauty and your patience. Happy Women’s Day”. Grrrr.